Quick Reminder

Your brain isn't broken.

Photo by Ussama Azam on Unsplash

I started a new story over the weekend and wrote 4,000 words. Don’t ask me what it’s about because I don’t know. BUT. 4K? Brains are so weird. It’s a good reminder to take a step back from your current work if you’re feeling stuck. We know this. We’ve heard it and heard it and ignored it. Sometimes starting something new seems disloyal or a waste of time. Why can’t I just finish what I’m working on?

I feel guilt and shame (heavy, I know, but those are the foundational emotions that most other “bad” feelings are built on—so let’s just skip to the truth) for having incomplete projects. Am I too distracted? Why can’t I focus on one thing before I start another? Geez, Alissa! Why can’t you follow through? Why is my brain like this?

We’ve been taught that leaving things undone means we’re irresponsible. When you were a child you were told to clean your plate. Started reading a book and don’t like it? Finish it anyway. You’re in a graduate program and realize it’s not for you. You better finish and get the degree—think of the time and money you’ve spent! Not meeting expectations before turning our attention to something else, even if we mean to come back, can feel like failure.

My husband is an engineer. He shakes his head when I get excited about a new idea. He is a finisher. He is a project manager and the last thing he wants is something left incomplete. He knows writing is important to me so, in his mind, he wants to see all of my efforts come together to produce an end result (By the way, he’s always been supportive of my work). In contrast, my creative brain can look like this:

->works on a novel for months -> sees a woman standing on the side of the street -> goes home and starts a story about mystery woman -> doesn’t touch novel for weeks -> creates entire world revolving around mystery woman -> goes back to novel—or doesn’t.

There are also times when I have to peel myself away from a story that isn’t working and force myself to try something different. I want to finish. Heck! I’ve written two books. I know I’m capable. But focusing on finishing can be the thing that keeps me from it. Allowing myself to become side-tracked, to go down those rabbit holes, to imagine people and places and wants and needs that are completely unrelated could lead me to something incredible.

I’ll tell you why my brain is like this: because it just is. Creativity is not always linear, which means it can seem messy, out-of-control, unorganized. And that seems wrong. Like so many other art forms, writing is a whole lot of experimentation and we keep far less than we throw away. Our brains are littered with discarded words, phrases, and characters. It’s difficult to remain on the straight path when the long way around the pond looks so inviting, and the hike up the hill has a great view, or the shortcut through the meadow—let’s go that way! No matter which way we choose, we’ll end up creating something. And see beauty along the way.

All of this to say, your project’s road may have some detours, some scenic routes, or some deadends. And that’s okay. Just keep traveling.

ACM